She works at an organization called Bethany Christian Services. I personally worked through the Des Moines branch, but they have offices all over the country. When I found their website, this is what I read...
Who we are:
Bethany Christian Services is a global nonprofit family preservation and child welfare organization caring for orphans and vulnerable children on five continents. Bethany is recognized as a prominent leader in social services worldwide. Founded in 1944, our mission calls us to demonstrate the love and compassion of Jesus Christ by protecting and enhancing the lives of children and families around the world.
Bethany Christian Service is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.
What we do:
Bethany is about kids in families. We serve children of all ages as we strive toward a world where every child has a loving family. Our services include family support and preservation, adoption, foster care, pregnancy counseling, training, refugee services, sponsorship, and infertility ministry. We are called to demonstrate the compassion of Jesus Christ to vulnerable children and families around the world.
Bethany is about kids in families. We serve children of all ages as we strive toward a world where every child has a loving family. Our services include family support and preservation, adoption, foster care, pregnancy counseling, training, refugee services, sponsorship, and infertility ministry. We are called to demonstrate the compassion of Jesus Christ to vulnerable children and families around the world.
What most pulled me to them was that they speak about how important the child is in all of this. They want to serve children and that is exactly what I wanted to do for my child, as well. I was also touched that they operate with such a strong conviction in their faith and want to do what Christ calls us to do. I want nothing more than for my daughter to know the love of Jesus Christ.
When you decide to make an adoption plan for your child, it is nothing short of difficult, complicated and odd. I never knew I would ever need to do this, but now that I have been through it, I hope that every adoption plan is made with as much love and care as mine was. Every decision and step I took towards placing Charlie for adoption, I was first and foremost concerned with her well being. It was fantastic that Bethany was also supportive of this priority.
At the Des Moines branch of BCS, they use a "model" for adoption that I am so in love with and support 100%. Not every adoption agency supports or work the way they are, but I hope that in time they will adopt (no pun intended) this model. While you are pregnant, it is important to know that you are only condsidering adoption, you are only considering parents, etc. They do this for the best interest of both the birth parents and the potential adoptive parents. If I were to agree to adoption and choose parents, then have the baby and change my mind, there would be some serious heart break involved for those parents. Not only this, but if I had already told them I was choosing them and then changed my mind, I might feel coerced into doing the adoption because I didn't want to hurt them. These sort of things should just never be a factor while you are deciding the fate of a child.
While I was pregnant, I knew intellectually that adoption was the right thing to do for Charlie, so it was difficult to not just agree to the whole thing and tell these parents I had been meeting with that I choose them. But now I understand completely why they did not want me to agree to anything before she was born. When you hold your child for the first time, and all moms will agree with me, you instantly become protective and incredibly attached to that baby. (Typing that last sentence was tricky because there are no words to describe what that feeling is, you just have to experience it to understand.) So holding your child and then making the decision to actually follow through with the adoption was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. Probably will be the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. When I was holding her, it was like my mind knew what the right thing was, but my heart wasn't agreeing. I never wanted to let her go.
While we were at the hospital, the parents I had been meeting with came to visit me and got to meet and see Charlie for the first time. First they came in to see me and they even brought me gifts! They are so thoughtful and kind. The mom was so concerned with how I was doing, she immediately grabbed me in for a hug and just cried. She was so happy I was OK and that everything went well. (She was already exhibiting some serious mommy traits lol) When they decided that they wanted to meet Charlie, my mom went down to the nursery and introduced them to her. They came back to my room with her and we shared some time with baby Charlie.
I have to be honest when I say that seeing them hold her for the first time was heart breaking for some reason. My instincts were jumping out of my skin, telling me to go get her and take her back. She was my baby, my daughter. Looking back, I wonder if it all was happening too soon....but I was able to remain calm and keep my composure. I'm sure the fact that I couldn't move after the surgery and all of the drugs I was on helped with this, but I'd like to think my mind helped me stay strong, too.
They came to visit me every day that weekend while I recovered. They would only come by for a couple hours at a time which was exactly what I needed. Before I went into the hospital to have Charlie, we did make a plan with them to help sort of guide how the weekend would go. They stayed at a hotel near the hospital and brought some friends of theirs along to help kill time and help them stay emotionally and mentally stable. BCS was awesome in helping us decide how that would go. They knew that I would need my alone time with my daughter and that my emotions would be running on overdrive with all that was going on. I am so thankful they helped us to do a smooth transition from birth, to interim care, to adoption.
Right now, Charlie is still technically in what they call interim care. I signed the papers that terminate my parental rights three weeks after she was born. The laws in Iowa make it so that the birth mom cannot sign those documents until three days after the child's birth. This is because they want to make sure the mom knows exactly what she is doing and doesn't do anything while under the stress and craziness that is giving birth. I thought, before I gave birth, that I would be able to do that for sure after three days. Boy was I wrong. What I loved about BCS is that they told me a million times that I could sign those papers whenever I felt like I was ready. Turns out I wasn't ready until three weeks later. I just needed time for my heart to catch back up with my head. I needed them to agree that what I was doing was the right thing.
So now, the parents I chose for her are taking care of her and the adoption should take roughly six months to be finalized. It's such a long process, but well worth it for this beautiful child. It was so fun to get to talk to her parents after I signed the documents because they were finally able to start talking about her as if she were their daughter. Hearing her mom say how much she loved her for the first time melted my heart. I no longer feel anger or hurt when I see them with her. I feel an abundance of love and joy! It is so exciting and helps me to know that I did the right thing. I have no regrets about the choices I have made thus far.
Bethany Christian Services has continued to be in contact with myself and Charlie's parents throughout this entire process. They are truly fantastic! I feel like there is not enough space on the internet to talk about how much I love them. If you are looking for a wonderful support system or just answers to any questions you may have on adoption or unplanned pregnancies, I would always support talking to the people at Bethany Christian Services.
Here's a link to their website: www.bethany.org
And just in case you forgot how adorable Charlie is...
xoxo
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