Volunteers Wanted to Cuddle, Nuture Newborn Babies at Adoption Agencies

Some of you may have seen several of your facebook friends posting and sharing the following article: http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/02/18/volunteers-wanted-cuddle-and-nurture-newborns-adoption-agencies

It's basically an article announcing that adoption agencies around the country are wanting volunteers to cuddle brand new babies who are between families/moving through the adoption process. It gives very little information about the actual process, purpose, function or really anything about it. But rather, shows a cute photo of an elderly man holding a brand new baby on his shoulder.

I want to preface this by saying that yes, there is a need for such a volunteer. Yes, this is a real thing that has value to the baby. And yes, it's awesome that so many people have open hearts and want to hold these sweet little kiddos while they wait for their forever families to come.

But here's the deal. It's not about you. This is about the child, the birth mom and the future family who will be adopting the baby. Sure, you will be able to enjoy some sweet cuddle time with a newborn, but remember that you also will be responsible for getting up 2-3 times per night to feed the baby, you'll have to be the one to change their diapers and you'll have to figure out a way to not grow attached because that baby will eventually leave your home.

The whole point of this interim care is to allow the birth mom to think her decision through. By having the child in a separate location, the birth mom can go to their home and have a good nights sleep, spend time thinking and ultimately make a decision that they are happy with. Sometimes that means going to the interim home and picking up their baby, but sometimes that means leaving the baby there until the adoptive family is ready to pick the child up.

I was offered a service just like this but didn't feel a need to use it in my situation, but I know of another birth mom who did. And the birth mom actually stayed at the interim house with her babies (she had twin girls) while she made her decision. It's a very delicate time for everyone involved, so I just want to stress how important it is that you remember that its not about you.

I would also like to point out that being able to provide this interim care requires a serious process to be sure you're a safe, accountable and stable person to be given this much responsibility. It isn't like you just get handed a baby with a quick signature or something.

So please, feel free to continue to share and post it along with people who you think would love this type of volunteer work...but hopefully knowing this information will help clear up exactly the type of person the adoption agencies are looking for.

xoxo

Cookies, Cake & Loneliness

It's Friday! Which means that Charlie's mom sends me a few photos or if I'm lucky, a cute video of our sweet baby girl. It's the best part of my Friday and I always get super excited when I see the notification on my phone. It's kind of like my world is just going and going, and then it all stops for those few moments when I can just relish in all the joy and love I have for her.

My friends at work always know when I'm watching the videos or looking at her pictures because I guess I get this slap happy grin on my face. I usually force them to also watch the videos and adore the pictures so they tell me how cute she is, too. Needless to say, it's my little piece of joy and peace in a week filled with stress, craziness and non-stop busyness.

Today was a special day and I got a cute video of Charlie playing in the bathroom sink with water and an empty water bottle. (One of her favorite activities; my girl is easy to please) She was also talking, using her sign language and even showed a quick little dance move for the camera. I always feel so proud when I hear her say the new words she's learned. This week, it was a cute surprise to hear her saying 'cookie' and 'cake.' She had several other words and was quick to remind her mom that pizza is hot. (I'm assuming this comes from mommy and daddy telling her to be careful when she's eating pizza because it may be hot) Regardless, that was just plain adorable.

It also makes me laugh that my sweet girl has already learned that she likes cookies and cake, and another video showed her clear desire for ice cream. Picture this: an adorable 18 month old holding onto the handle of the refrigerator asking for ice cream, getting a 'no' from mom and proceeding to pout. Clearly my love of sweets has been passed down to Charlie.

It's amazing to me how much these Friday messages can turn my mood around. This weekend is Valentine's Day and while I typically don't care too much about this holiday, being away from all of my friends, family and baby girl has really gotten to me. Sure, I have friends here in Ohio, but I miss those friends that I have years of connection with, my family who knows me to my core and the sweet slobbery kisses from my girl. Being alone has never been a problem for me and I don't mind  having extra "Me Time." But being lonely is different; feeling like you're missing that deeper connection is hard to move past.

It's scary sometimes the negative thoughts I have about myself. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has moments like this though...I can't be the only woman who's struggled to find a man who brings exactly what she wants to the table. I can't be the only one who's had legitimate nightmares for dates. I can't be the only one who struggles to allow herself to let down her walls enough to build a connection with anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I'm asking for too much? Am I not worthy of what I thought I was, or what my parents have told me I deserve? Is my past causing others to view me differently?

**Side note to Charlie: I know this doesn't have much to do with you or our story. But because I know I'm not the only girl to feel this way, I want you to know you're not alone. And my own self talk to counteract the above thoughts has been this:

It's OK to feel this way. We are allowed to feel however we want. But it is also up to us to move out of that negative space....remind yourself of what you are, rather than what you are not. So when I think about me, who I know my true self to be, I love myself. And I know that if I remain patient, someday some man will come into my life and I'll know why it never worked with anyone else. He will see my flaws, know my past and see who I am today. He will love all of that, all of me.

I never imagined that I'd be 27, single, in another state away from all of my family. While I did think I'd have a child around 25, I never thought I wouldn't be the one raising her. I never saw myself being a birth mother. But here I am. And it's OK.

So if you're lonely on this silly holiday, (which is a sorry excuse for love, because you should tell those you love how you feel every day and match those words with your actions) remember that you're worth more than that. Remember your value and self worth. Loneliness is temporary. And you're never truly alone.

xoxo