First of all, the only reason we feel compelled to place labels like mom or birth mom on people in a situation involving adoption is purely to help other people, and most importantly the child, identify correctly with each person. I find value in this mainly for my daughter because I want her to call her adoptive mom, Mom. Nothing more and nothing less. Just Mom. I am also her mom, but I play a different type of mom role. I gave her life and made the first, most important decision of her life for her. While legally I signed my rights over to her new parents, I still feel such a strong tie to her and I will never stop feeling like her mom. I just have to take a back seat from now on and let her new mommy make all of the other big decisions for awhile.
Being a mom and being a birth mom are synonymous in my situation, but for the sake of everyone, I will happily accept the label of birth mom. Because not everyone gets to be a birth mom. I feel beyond lucky and so blessed that I was given the opportunity to carry Charlie and give her life. God has truly been good to me. :)
So the other neat thing about being Charlie's birth mom is that I get to celebrate today, a day ahead of Mother's Day! I get a whole day just to relish in the fact that I have a beautiful, goofy, smiley, brave and gap-toothed child in my life who I can still hold, laugh with, enjoy and love. I may not get to spend this time with you, but I will be thinking of you a lot today, baby girl.
In my particular adoption story, I feel joy for Charlie's new mommy and the fact that she will be celebrating her first Mother's Day tomorrow. In the last couple of years, Mother's Day had been a reminder to her that she had lost her two babies long before she could ever hold them. I can't imagine what it would feel like to completely lose a piece of your heart like that. So now that she has Charlie to love and cherish, she will be able to embrace the entire day because she is a MOM! It's also pretty exciting because Charlie will be getting dedicated tomorrow at church. One more reason I so love her parents...they promised me to raise her in a home filled with Christ's love. This was probably the most important thing to me when deciding who should raise my baby. So far, they are nailing it on the head!
As a child, you always plan a big surprise or wonder what gift to give your mommy on this special day that recognizes her. It feels so funny to me now because, as a mom, I don't want anything else. I already have the best gift I have ever received. No other gift compares. So I say to my own mother, now I understand that you really meant it when you said we didn't need to get you anything, you just wanted to spend time with us. I can't believe I can understand the love you have for me, finally. That is some serious stuff! When I know how much I love Charlie...to think that someone in this world loves me that much, too? It is enough to make my heart grow three times. :)
So to all the mommies, birth moms, adoptive moms, surrogate mothers, and everyone in between, Happy Mothers Day. You deserve it. Enjoy this time! But remember, every day of your life will forever be another day of blessing with the sweet child you have in your life.
xoxo
