Why She Will Always Be My Daughter

So I received an e-mail from someone I don't know who told me that I should not refer to myself as a mother and I should stop calling Charlie my daughter. They stated that because I chose to give up my rights and "give her up" for adoption, I shouldn't be able to call her my daughter anymore. It was short and direct, but I would like to publicly respond to that e-mail because I feel like perhaps I could shed some light on why I refuse to call Charlie anything but my daughter.

I know and understand that I signed a document to terminate my parental rights for Charlie. I know that on December 11, 2014 the adoption will be finalized. I know that on paper, she is now the daughter of two other wonderful parents. I know that these parents will call her their daughter and I LOVE hearing them do so. I know that Charlie will grow up calling them mommy and daddy and I look forward to hearing her do so.

What I also know is that this child came from me. I am a mother who made the best and hardest choice for my child. She will always be my daughter. The fact that someone would expect me to refer to her as anything other than that is weird to me.

I will admit that reading that e-mail was hurtful and caused my heart to go through all of the emotions that I have had to work through since the moment I found out I was pregnant with her. So to whoever wrote it, I forgive you. You obviously don't understand what adoption is like and you clearly don't know me personally. What I know is that if my heart is big enough to see outside of my own desires to raise my perfect little child and instead do what is in her best interest, that same heart is big enough to endure whatever bullshit  bull-honky you send my way.

I hope that people understand that open adoption is much more complex than just some legal documents. The legal portion of this only puts the adoption itself into terms and does nothing regarding the "open" portion of things. The relationship that I have with her parents and her is purely based off of our mutual understand of the importance of me remaining a part of her life and the fact that we all love this little girl so much. There is not a document that they had to sign to guarantee me visits with Charlie. That was all verbal and required a lot of trust between the three of us.

I don't know what our future looks like or what our relationships will flourish into, but what I do know is that Charlie will forever be my beautiful daughter and I still love her and cherish my time with her, just as any mother does. I am a mother. Charlie's adoptive mom is also a mother. Children are capable of loving more than just one parent, right? So why is it so hard to think that she could find love for her parents and myself? I come from divorced parents who both remarried....I love all of them. They all take up important spots in my heart and I care about what they think of me. Humans are completely capable of loving many people, isn't that wonderful?!

I hope this wasn't too ramble-y or random, but I just wanted to get my heart emptied about this e-mail because it has been weighing on me.

By the way-look how adorable and precious MY DAUGHTER is!

xoxo