So at our last visit, Charlie finally hit that phase where she gets nervous and shy around people she doesn't recognize. When we walked in, she was a little overwhelmed and started to cry a little bit. Luckily her mom was holding her and when I hugged her mom, she sort of realized that I was an OK person. Within 5 minutes she was happy in my arms and we cuddled the rest of the time we shared together.
I had mentally prepared myself for that moment and so that helped to lessen the sting of her not recognizing me. But it still does bring me a tinge of sadness that she is only going to recognize her new parents for awhile. I wish that I could be the face she wakes up to and goes to sleep with. I wish that it was my arms she reached for when she is scared. I wish that she only felt safe when she knows I am around.
Someday, I hope to be someone she can talk to and feel safe with...it just may take some time to get to that point. She's just a baby after all....just an innocent, precious, carefree child that has no idea what her life has been like up to this point. She only knows this moment and the people who are in front of her day in and day out. And that's OK.
The things that I know are constant in her life include a multitude of people who love her fiercely. That is all that I could want for my daughter....she is loved and cared for by so many people. It's so funny that in the beginning of all of this, all I focused on were the two parents who would be raising her...when in reality, she got two entire families to love her! That's in addition to my family. It's almost unfair how much love she has! I can't wait for the day she realizes just what that means for her...I hope her heart will always be full.
xoxo
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